"someone gave you flowers..."

My aunt handed me the simple vase. Daisies sprouted out bending in every direction. The yellow petals gleamed in my pupils, the water was fresh and translucent - I could see the green stems creating a labyrinth near the bottom. I imagined the small H20 molecules getting lost, searching and finding nothing. A maze that leads to nowhere. I whispered a polite "thank you" as I opened my palm and she placed the flowers into my grip. It was heavier than I thought, but still beautiful in a weak sort of way. I didn't want them.

My eyes shifted over to my mom as I waited for her approving glance. It took me a while to realize that I had gotten the only daisies in the room. They weren't really from my aunt, they were from one of the hundreds of people who knew my cousin. The ones in my hands were from Christine something-or-other. I'll never know her. I wish I did, I wish I knew why she chose daisies. Was it something special between her and my cousin? It wasn't something special between my aunt and I.

But I was taught to be courteous. I wrapped my free arm around my aunt's everlastingly trembling body. She sobbed - I reminded her. My blonde hair soaking up her tears while I supported her; my thin body against hers. I'm not Jessie - I reminded myself - and then I distanced myself from everyone for as long as I could. I didn't want to be known as the reminder.

But I still have my own reminder of that day so long ago. A shriveled up, gray old daisy gently sleeping on my bedside table day and night. It's my favorite kind of flower.