i think i may be getting somewhere.

There's a possibility that I may have figured something out about myself today. I'm an extremely independent person and I guess I just never realized that before although it's always been true. I don't need to have someone tell me they love me every day or to hear that I'm beautiful once in a while. Don't get me wrong, those are lovely things, but not necessary. I just want to have fun is all, really, I'm a kid that's my point in life right now. So due to the fact that I feel like I don't need it, maybe that's why when I'm in a relationship with someone I don't always let them know how much they mean to me and all that good stuff. I think that's what happened with Luke. I think I talk about that too much, I always question what went wrong and where it went wrong. It was just so great, it's quite possibly the greatest thing that has happened in my life, yet, because I'm sure there are greater things to come. Because like I stated, I am in fact just a kid. I think that Luke is not such at independent kind of person, like me. He's a very dependent person, as a matter of fact. He always needed my approval, my praise, my everything. But I never really understood why, I guess I just think about myself to much. I'm a little bit selfish in that way, when I don't understand why someone is doing something or why they have this opinion I get a little frustrated and I know that's probably incredibly rude. I'm going to try to work on that. I'm not saying that I'm not an open minded person, because I let other people have their opinion, but I always try to weigh out why they feel that way. And for some reason I never understand it. Kind of like Luke always wanting so much and I never knew why. Now I think I know why. I'm talking in circles, I apologize. I realized this because I invited Bobby over today. I'm a horrible person, so beat me. And Bobby asked me if it bothered me that he didn't text me every day. I said that it doesn't, because that's the truth. I think at first I thought it did, like six months ago, but that's probably because I thought it should have bothered me. I know that doesn't make any sense. But when I'm feeling one way about something and I think that it's odd then I change my opinion, I literally change it. I don't lie, I just change. Because we're only human and we can do that. But today I realized it didn't bother me, it didn't matter at all. Then that got me to thinking, about how it always bothers Luke that I'm not texting him every minute of every day. By the way, I'm really hoping that somehow nobody comes across this and takes any offense to it because that would make me feel really horribly awful. But I don't even understand the point of blogging anyways. It's a way for me to sort out my life I guess, but that sounds dumb. Anyways, the point is is that that's why I think I like Bobby, as a person anyways. He's so honest, and he's a lot like me in a lot of ways. He's helping me figure myself out, because I obviously have no idea. And is that really such a bad thing, am I really being such a bad person? I don't think so.